I just blew up a banana bread. Fortunately I was lazy, and so did not burn the house down. So next time you are wondering, ‘can I go for a walk for an hour while the banana bread cooks?’…the answer, my friends, is no.
Photo evidence:
It was oozing and bubbling and gurgling, spewing smoke like some alien being on its first visit to Earth.
Sure, it could have been the altitude, or maybe I mixed the ingredients out of order. Should I have used two pans instead of one? Did my mother leave out an ingredient when she emailed me the recipe I used to know and love? This mess happened halfway through the cook time. What would have happened if I had decided to go for that walk?
Was this an innocuous baking fiasco, or was there something more sinister at work here? (Da-dun!)
I know there is a teaching moment in here somewhere. In 300 words or less tell me why I failed, and I will choose the winner next Tuesday. First prize is an interview with the author of the winning post, which will be published here.
Mysterious Artemis 
Banana bread mon,
When thee young boy Delonn be pickin da bananas after sun set. And his sister Devondre be sayin,
“boy, don’t go pickin these bananas, now, the sun be set. Nevrr, pick the bananas after the sun set. You want dark bananas, brown bananas, squishy bananas, so them americans who eat and cook our bananas be saying, oh this banana didn’t get it’s vitamin d. Boi!
But Delonn don’t care about no sun banana, night banana, wrong banana, right banana, “take banana, eat banana, sleep banana.” he says. “Sister, ain’t no myth I believe about, I laugh about it be brown they can eat around it, green banana, wait a minute, peel it, chew it, JAH.”
But Devondre knows if when they tally the bananas, the white man don’t like den dey cannot go home.
So she takes banana wraps in wheat, put in the oven just to heat bananas, and goes for a walk around the banana farm.
An Delonn comes in the kitchen and tink to himself, this banana be picked without the sun, in the cold,
he say
everyone knows,
to turn the banana clock wise 450 degrees more,
So he turns the dial on the oven, from medium to high, to off, to medium to high.
Yup, dis be about 450 degrees he say.
And when he come back kitchen smoking his sister notice, and said, boi, now i need to tweak de recipe, I had account for you bein bananas one time, but from now on i cook the banana bread on low, so you can be bananas two times, and me house be stayin safe!
1 banana, two banana,bread banana, brother is bananas, heat on low,
is the recipe, for banana bread, now we know. jah.
Bananas life purpose are to grow and to explode all over the oven. It is always necessary to protect the oven from this phenomenon of nature. Bananas also require your full attention when they are in the oven. Perhaps your mother forgot to include the step which involves mashing the bananas firs so they will acquire a synthesis with the other ingredients. It also helps to stir in extra sugar to the dough. (LOL!)
Most likely reason? One pan rather than 2. However, having recently ignited a marshmallow in the microwave when making the same s’more the same way I have always done, there could be Something About Sugar. Do you count any chemists among your friends?